FAQs

Of course you can. You might want to contact me first for advice or you have already made an appointment to see your Funeral Director. Do give them my details and ask them to contact me before making a firm booking. I’d very-much like to work with you, but I’m a much sought-after Independent Celebrant, so my diary fills up quickly.

When you choose me, you get a celebrant who is genuinely interested in you, your loved one, their story, relationships, legacy and achievements. We’ll agree what I can share in public and I’ll create the tribute, share it with you, await amendments then deliver it on the day; there’s no surprises.

So often people are in a state of shock when a loved one dies and call a Funeral Director too soon. If their death was expected, whether in hospital, care or at home, don’t rush to phone. Take time to process your loss. You might want to sit with them for a while, call your family or a friend to be with you and say goodbye quietly to them in the moment.

Think about which Funeral Director is the best fit – a local provider, an independent or a large national company. There might be a funeral plan or instructions for what you need to do.

There are many resources on the internet. A great place to start is The Good Funeral Guide

There is another way – you don’t have to use a Funeral Director, but that takes planning and somebody to guide you through the process. It will give you flexibility and the ability to do something bespoke for your loved one.

Most Celebrants will have been trained by a reputable professional body; I trained with The Fellowship of Professional Celebrants and have PLI and PII insurance. We’re all different and work with clients in different ways. I can only speak for myself and you can find further details of my approach here and what people say about me here.

Every life deserves to be commemorated. I am sensitive to your need and will respect your wishes, guide and support you. I often say, “I will walk beside you.” I’m an empath who uses my experience and intuition to help you decide how you will celebrate their life.

I will ensure a great deal of flexibility about what’s included, the atmosphere, the people who are involved and together, we write a bespoke service reflecting the person.

On the day, I can take you on a journey of their life, through sadness, grief, smiles and, if appropriate, laughter whilst commemorating them and showing gratitude for their part in your lives.

Traditionally, funerals have been held in churches, crematoria or burial grounds. That’s absolutely fine if it meets your needs. There are time constraints; typically 40-45 minutes for a crematorium locally and an hour for natural burial grounds. More modern, alternative ways are more than possible though.

You can celebrate someone’s life anywhere and you can choose to have the coffin or casket present at the ceremony.

One way to make a decision is to think about their interests or hobbies, where they liked to socialise and maybe what they did for a living. Think pub, wedding venue, cricket pavilion, village hall, hotel, beach, farm, barn or woodland. If you want the coffin present, make sure you can get it in though.

In alternative venues you can enjoy afternoon tea; we did that for mum in a lovely hotel. How about sandwiches and cake in the village hall or perhaps a ploughman’s and a pint in a pub or a picnic on the beach. So much more relaxed and personal for everyone.

Again, a burial can take place anywhere, but ensure you have the correct documentation and the landowner’s permission. You can even bury your loved one in the garden, but you must add it to the deeds and it might put potential buyers off.

Natural burial grounds are lovely places for a burial. In Norfolk we have two: GreenAcres Living Memorial Park, Colney and Norfolk Bluebell Wood Burial Park.

The short answer is no.

There are so many choices now; you might have a motorbike and sidecar if they were an enthusiast, with or without friends on bikes as escorts. I’ve seen tractors and trailers, a decorated handcart, flatbed lorries, a vintage hearse and, of course, horse drawn carriages. I’ve even seen the coffin of a local builder emerge from their transit van!

Fans of Only Fools and Horses can hire a Trotters Independent Traders Reliant Robin with hearse trailer. Lovers of leopard skin might want a decorated hearse, whilst VW campervans, Morris Minor travellers and estate cars can all be used if the coffin fits.

In many ways, it depends whether you are having a burial or cremation, want to have an eco-friendly or ethical funeral and where your loved one will be laid to rest. I’m happy to help you choose.

If you have chosen a cremation, it’s vital that you check with the crematorium if they will accept the coffin or shroud. If you are purchasing direct from the supplier, you will need to have accurate measurements (usually height and the widest part – usually the shoulders) to get the right size coffin. Also do make sure they can deliver it in time.

There are so many choices. Whilst you can have a wooden coffin, cardboard, yes cardboard! seagrass, wicker (willow) and banana leaf coffins (air miles for the latter might be an issue) are good alternatives. You don’t need a coffin; a shroud is fine, you will need a willow or wooden base but not all crematoria accept shrouds.

For ideas, look at: bellacouche.com or Cradle to Grave willow coffins or Wild Heart Coffins

Prices vary and try to get a UK manufacturer if you want to reduce your carbon footprint.

It’s one of the last things you can do to show your love and respect for them. Of course you can! If you have a Funeral Director they will give you instructions just before taking the coffin from the hearse (Do we have to have a hearse?). You can have a mix of family and friends, men and women. It is your choice. Don’t worry about dropping the coffin – you won’t. We are there to help you. Just remember, left foot first and you’ll be fine.

I am happy to plan your own celebration of life with you, whether you would like it to happen whilst you are able to enjoy a living funeral or you would like to plan your funeral for when you have died. I have a link to ‘Ways of Saying Goodbye’ for more details and inspiration.

It’s not obligatory, yet often when people start off saying they want a Humanist funeral, they then decide to have a prayer or a bible reading; The Lord’s Prayer for example, is for the living and can be comforting. It’s your choice.

Increasingly people would like meaningful or spiritual, rather than religious, elements in the celebration of life. For many, they just want to reflect the philosophy and values of their loved one.

There might have been a direct cremation or a small intimate family funeral before a full-on celebration of life. By than you could have the ashes and they can be present if you would like. For instance, I’ve led ceremonies when we have had caskets of ashes present after a person died abroad or elsewhere in the country. We could have a candle ceremony to ‘bring them into the room’ with us instead. The options are almost limitless.

“Wherever and however you choose to celebrate a life, together we’ll create a unique ceremony that will reflect their values and beliefs”